“Hello? Ang aga mong nagising?”

5:30 pa lang ng umaga. Ako, kasama ko na ang mga kaibigan ko. Aalis kami para mag-bonding sa probinsya. Nagpaalam naman ako sa kanya pero bakit nagche-check siya?

“Sinadya ko talaga. Nakaalis na ba kayo?” Tanong niya.

“Hindi pa. Hinihintay pa namin ‘yung isang sasakyan. Bakit ka pa kasi tumawag? ‘Yan tuloy nasira tulog mo. Pinayagan mo naman na ako di ba?”

“Oo nga. Pero nag-aalala po kasi ‘yung tao. Masama bang maging concern?” 

“May sinabi ba ako? ‘Wag ka na kasing mag-alala. Trusted drivers ‘tong mga kabarkada ko tsaka di naman nila ako pababayaan. So no need to worry.”

“Oo na. Oo na. May dala kang band-aid niyan?”

“Oo.”

“Alcohol? Towel?”

“Opo.”

“Knee pads? Elbow pads?”

“Knee at elbow pads? Ano ba naman yan? Baka gusto mo din magtanong kung may dala akong helmet?” Natatawa na lang ako sa kanya. ‘Pag minsan kasi nagiging OA na ang pagiging protective niya.

“Magandang ideya ngang may helmet ka din. Paano naman kasi you’re the most clumsy person I’ve met. Ni bato nga di mo kayang iwasan eh.” Sagot niya habang sige lang siya sa pagtawa na sinabayan ko na din.

“Clumsy pala ha. Kaya nga I fell for you eh. Hahaha!” Natawa ako sa sarili kong banat.

“Kaya nga di na ako nagrereklamo sa pagiging clumsy mo. Gusto ko lang ma-siguradong di ka mahuhulog o mauuntog ang ulo mo at maisipan mong palitan ako.” Naki-ride naman siya. Haha!

“Ay korny natin, umagang-umaga. Sige na hon, sleep ka na ulit. Ayos lang ako, don’t worry. Good morning.”

“Okay. Be careful. I miss and love you.”

“Same here.”

“Heto na naman tayo sa same here mo.” Nagrereklamong saad niya. “Parang nahihiya kang sabihing mahal mo ako.”

“Naku, nagtampo na naman po. I miss you hon and I love you. Always. Oh sleep na, okay? I’ll call you when we get there. Mwah.”

Wala nang sasaya sa mga pagkakataong ganito. Hay, pag-ibig. 

The Start and The End

She: May tanong ako and answer honestly. Friend mo ako ‘di ba? And ‘pag may ayaw ka sa friend mo, sasabihin mo sa kanya. May prob ka bas a akin? Nagtatanong lang ako, ‘wag mamasamain.Ü

Him: Hmm. Weird question. Tsk. Wala naman. Honest answer. PROMISE.

S: Nawi-weirdohan din kasi ako sa’yo. Aha.

H: Ah…ehe. Sorry ha.. Weird lang talaga, magulo, and just wanna say, it’s not you. It’s me. ‘Yun. I believe you got what I mean. Hugs.

S: Sana lang kini-clear lang. Clueless ako, promise. Ano bang problema mo sa sarili mo? Siguro naman pwede kong malaman?

H: Hindi ko kasi alam talaga ano gusto ko ngayon. Magulo utak ko. And I’m sorry, nakuha nating maging close, kahit magulo utak ko. Tsk. ‘Yun. I think I’ve been unfair to you. Yun. So sorry.

S: Yeah, I should have guessed. I was right all along. Don’t worry, I get it. I don’t understand though kung bakit magulo utak mo. Because of your ex?

H: Ay hindi po. Wrong ‘yun. Ewan. I just can’t find myself. Don’t know what to think and what I want. Kabud lang ako nagigising sa umaga then matutulog sa gabi, ganun. And ‘yung kagabe, it’s between me and my mum kasi nga, napapansin din ilang ala ako sa sarili ko. ‘Yun.

S: Hah. Paso na ‘yung can’t find myself na yan. But then, at some point, that can be felt. Can’t blame you din.

H: ‘Di kita masisisi kung iisipin mong pasu na can’t find myself pero ang totoo nyan, nung makatext kita and makilala kita, I’ve been me. ‘Yun nga lang lately. Hay ewan, ewan talaga. I’m really sorry.

S: La na tayong magagawa dian. Sabihin mo lang kung anong gusto mong gawin ko. Ung straight to the point. To avoid misunderstanding or whatever. Basta I’m still here. Your friend, or whatever you want me to be.

H: I can’t blame you if you hate me. And it’s up to you kung you’ll stay as a friend. I just think I’ve been unfair, I’m being unfair, and I don’t wanna be unfair anymore. And I hate being unfair. Haay.

S: I don’t hate you okay? It’s just good to know. To understand. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. As I’ve said, I’m still a friend. Promise.

H: I really hate myself. Honest. T_T

S: Don’t okay? It’s normal to feel uncertainties. And I’m not mad at you or anything. Have faith that everything will be fine. God is good.

H: I hate saying “sorry” ‘cause it just means I’ve done a mistake. Yet…I’m really sorry. ):

S: I’m sorry too. You want some space or time? Sabihin mo lang, though, there’ll be no expectations on my part. I can understand you, one way or another. It happens.

H: So there it is. Tsk. Pero, honest ha. Last few days, wala lang talaga ako load, hindi naman sa umiiwas ako. Pero sa ngayon, siguro iiwas na talaga ako. Makarine. Haay.

S: Ayokong lumayo ka. Eman makarine ing sabyan ing nanu ing tutu di ba?

H: I just can’t imagine how I feel right now. You’ve been great to me, nice and sweet. I do really appreciate you being there. Pero I’ve made you think na there’s something wrong about yourself which is, wala naman talaga. Wala. And that makes my chest more heavy, ‘cause wala naming prob about you eh. And saying it’s about me, and I can’t find myself seem pathetic kasi sabi mo nga, pasu na. being honest sometimes sucks. Haay.

S: it’s not wrong to say what you really feel. You’ve been honest, so who am I not to appreciate that? And don’t take all the blame. I have my mistakes too. Sabi ko nga sa’yo, I over think things. Kaya in the process nasaktan ko din sarili ko.

H: I didn’t plan this to happen. It just happened. I happen to like you, so I made a choice to know you more. But then I realize, the hole is getting deep and I’m not jumping into it, and I’m being unfair. I’m really sorry. Really, really sorry.

S: Onga. I’m sorry for myself too.

S: You’ve put it mildly. Eh ung ano lang dian, “I don’t like you anymore”. End of story. Hahaha. Parang pang-novel naman mga lines natin. Pang drama. Aha.

H: Ay! To naman, nagdadrama ako, naluha na nga. Lol pa eh. Hmpft.

S: Eh I don’t want to cry. Mas nagmumukha akong kawawa nun. I don’t want to feel sorry for myself. Kasi nangyayari naman talaga yan. Nagsama ba naman mga messed up ang life eh. What do you expect?

H: Ay kung sau messed na for you, ung sa akin disaster! Ilang months ka palang alang work. Compare to me. Tsk.

H: Be safe always…nyt. Mwaah.

M: Yeah. You too. Thank you. God bless. Wag mo akong kalimutan ha? Lol. Good night.

M: Last question lang. may iba kang gusto ngaun ne? Naisip ko lang. ahe

H: Wala.Ü eh di ko nga know ang gusto ko eh. Maybe I want myself back. Tsk.

M: Mahahanap mo din yan. Babalik din. Maliliwanagan ka din.

H: Nyt.

Parang di naman bagay. Hahaha. Mas gusto kong nakikitang nakababa yung buhok niya na may bangs. ((:
Good bye memories! (: