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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

August 03, 2008 Sunday

For me, a heartfelt mass comes to me rarely. Or should I say, it is just once in a while for me to enjoy and really learn from a mass. As being a choir member, I seldom feel that I’m really into what I sing. Shame, but I don’t often experience such a wonderful mass wherein I really listen in the homily and sing with my whole heart on it for God. Yeah, I’m ashamed of being like that sometimes. I always ask God for his forgiveness about all these things. *sigh*

A great factor maybe for this is the diversion my mind creates, and so as my fellow choir mates. We usually chitchat about our week whenever the priest is doing his homily. Shame on us, don’t you think? Awh.

But the rare heartfelt mass that I was mentioning came to me unexpectedly last August 03, 2008. I don’t know but maybe because of the celebrant of the mass which is my favorite priest ever, I settled myself to listen to the whole mass, participate on it, and sing as if I’m not the one who’s singing. It is a great mass indeed. I learned so many things and I felt that God is beside me, listening to my song for him. I don’t even care if I sang the wrong notes.

The priest asked us about on what we usually want to find. Money? Work? Our other half? No. it must not be like that, he said. He mentioned that what we must really find is freedom. But then, what is freedom for us? Doing what we want? Going to the place we want? No. Not really like that I think. From what he said, find freedom. You are free when you can do what you have to do. Right, isn’t it? We must not do what we just want. We are not free then. You just make those things that you want to do but you don’t have to act that way necessarily. Personally, I think I’m not free. Why? Oh, just because I cannot perform things that I have to do. I know that I need to help people in my own way but I just can’t bring up myself to accomplish it because I think I don’t have the means. And so on, and so on…

Next, find joy. Find happiness in others. Surely, you’ll be happy also. You cannot discover happiness only with yourself. Have you ever saw a person who has this big smile and sparkling eyes you can’t help but smile, too? Did you ever experience to see an elated group of people and suddenly you also feel you can jump for joy and join their feast? Oh, maybe I did experience it once or twice. But I think it’ll be great if every time I’m sad I will encounter one person who can erase my sadness.

And lastly, seek God, the true happiness and peace. Find Him at the bottom of our hearts and everything will be okay. He’s our only refuge. When you can’t find anyone else to turn to, find Him. Call Him in the middle of your darkness. Surely, He won’t turn you down. He’s the only reliable one. I do this, really. Whenever I feel alone, I’ll just talk to Him. I know He listens and that gives me comfort.

He ended the mass with his usual "assignment" that we must do for the week. And that is we must do our bucket list. Hm. I wrote 10. But I can't help but write and write more. haha.


After that mass, it elevated my feelings. I felt light. I hope I’ll experience this every Sunday. It’s a great feeling.

--shey--

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