exhibit A of a fickle minded person.

I despise getting emotional. Really. The bitterness, the pain. As much as possible I don't want to feel any of them. Or if feasible, not to feel anything at all.

You’re probably saying to yourself as you read this that if I really hate those things, why am I providing this "emoness" then? hah! I really don't know. I can be charlatan sometimes you know.

I don't know if this has something to do with my being 19 already. I’m pressuring myself to do extreme things, those things outside of my box, to make the most out of my last teenage year. Oh yes, I want to know my confines and surpass the expectations of the people around me. I don't want to think that I was born to feel pressured, to think that others are expecting too much from me. Hell! Give me a break. I’m not a cyborg you know, or a robot! I’m just a young lady. I want to do things on my own will. I want to be familiar with myself even more. I want to experience the bliss of a teen life! I don't want to come to a point wherein I will regret the things that I didn't do in the time when I should have done them.

Enough of the pressure things.

Let’s talk about what I want to do this year. Hope I’ll be able to accomplish them and certainly I wish that there'll be someone or some persons who will help me in order to attain them. These are :

a. I want to ride a roller coaster! And any rides that will make my heart pump faster or maybe make it stop! haha.
b. I want to go places. I want to climb the Arayat or Pinatubo. I want to experience island hopping. ahihi.
c. I want to experience night life with my friends! drink anything until I pass out! haha. 'kidding. and go home before dawn! hahaha!
d. I want to love and be loved. haha! naks!

that's all I can think of right now. but I really want to do things that are out of my character.

oh wait. how come I came up to this point of sharing my goals this year?
I thought I will write about something of the plummeting thing. the falling in love thing. the pain and bitterness associated with it. haha. I guess I diverted myself unconsciously. that's because I don't like melodramas right? aha. but really, the whole point of this blog entry is to share my inmost feeling about falling and maybe failing again.

(hello, shey, you haven't done anything yet! you can't say that you'll fail again! you must be successful on this one!)

argh, I’m losing myself here already. I think I better stop this or else...

Pardon me. I’m a little bit crazy right now. haha.