random poems/entries while sitting in our primar class.

it's a place i can't fathom
a sudden feeling i can't control
i might be insane at this moment
i don't know if i want to fall

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my only problem is whenever i tend to like someone deeper,
something would surely make me hold back from flourishing that
feelings to something much much deeper.
(do i make sense?har)


--being so.so confused if i will continue this feelings i have for him--

he's as bright as the moon
when darkness fill in
you may see him or you may not
he's so unreachable
as any stars could be

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he's the sun
i am a meteorite in space
every planet revolves around him
and so do i

i can't go near him
i might burn myself
i can't stay away from him
i need his warmth

he's special
i am a waste
he's very much needed
when i am not much of a help

we are in the same place
yet we function differently
he's so important
and i will be spending my life unnoticed.

--just for him. i always feel that i am not good enough for him. *sigh*

Ambiguous

she's boring
she's dry
she's moody
yet i don't know why

she's bubbly
she's sweet
she's a darling
but sometimes runs deep

she's a mess
she's complicated
she couldn't care less
though now she's wondering

she thought she know herself
she thought forever she can be like this
but now she's confused
if ever she'll find happiness soon.


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for the record, i've never felt happiness in my entire life
sure there are happy moments where i laughed all the time
yet i know deep down inside of me, there lies an empty space needed to be filled.

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sometimes i want to be a child sleeping in the street
all she ever mind is how to survive the day
she doesn't care about people around her as long she's gotten help from them
i wish i'm the one just receiving and not thinking what i must give in return.

--not being so contented with what's happening in my life now.--

Dearest

he's my dearest
'cause he's the only one who had dig a deep hole in my heart
he may not know this
but he left a big imprint in my life.

i want to call him my dearest
'cause he's the first person i tend to care for the rest of my existence
he may not like it
but it's the only dream i've ever hoped.

he can't be my dearest as long as i live
'cause i want to find somebody else that will make me feel loved
he may never care
but i know i'm better off without him.

--for my first love. hahaha. --






and so, that was it. i didn't listen on what my teacher is babbling. i just keep on writing and writing. i don't know. i feel a little bit left out.


--ling'ling--
october 6, 2008